Knight Life: The Tales of a Disciple of the Knight

Sorry for the gap. Fall Break was pretty good. Tonight was interesting. Ate at Bode. Studied for Data Structures test (of Doom). Saw the uber-cool eclipse. Saw the Sox win the World Series. Had a short devos. Here now.
Today in chapel was great. Dr. Olson had an incredible message. It got me thinking...who am I? At the core? I am a Man. I am a man, created in the image of God. To quote Stu Weber, former Green Beret and author of books such as Tender Warrior and Four Pillars of a Man's Heart:
"King. Warrior. Mentor. Friend. Four pillars in a manly heart. Every man is commissioned by his Creator...
to provide, as a Servant King;;
to protect, as a Tender Warrior;
to teach, as a Wise Mentor; and
to connect, as a Faithful Friend."
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I view as one of my core definitions. I am Jon Michael Sharpton. I am a Man. This quote is one of the best definitions. But I am more than just this. I am a soldier in the Army of the Lord. I am a friend to a few, at least. I analyze. I assess. I think and evaluate.
I strive for inner knighthood. It is my lifelong quest. True chivalry is one thing I highly desire. I may forget that at times. But I still have a deep-seated love and desire for chivalry, and perhaps one day romance. I have a bit of a romantic in me.
I am still striving to fully find out who God made me to be. I will try to keep people updated, as it were.
*Bows out to the right; mounts horse; rides off.*

Recently, I began reading the first book of the Coldfire Trilogy, Black Sun Rising. It is an incredible book. I highly recommend it. Excellent writing. Scott has already posted on this book, but I thought I would as well. Read his for a good summary. I just wanted to post a couple of quotes, and my unique insight.
Quotes:
Tarrant:"As for the power that keeps me alive...call it an amalgamation of those forces which on Earth were mere negatives-but which have real substance here, and a potential for power that Earth never dreamed of. Cold, which is the absence of heat. Darkness, which is the absence of light. Death, which is the absence of life. Those forces comprise my being-they keep me alive-they determine my strengths and my weaknesses, my hungers, even my manner of thinking. As for how that power mainfests itself...I take on whatever form inspires fear in those around me."
Tarrant(same quote Scott has, but still cool):"You? For you I've become the most subtle creature of all: a civilized evil, genteel and seductive. And evil you endure because you need its service-even though that very endurance plucks loose the underpinnings of your morality. An evil that causes you to question the very definitions of your identity, that blurs the line between dark and light until you're no longer certain which is which, or how the two are divided. -That's what you fear most of all, priest. Waking up in the morning and no longer knowing who or what you are. Does that satisfy you? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Damien:"When all this is over-when our enemy has been dealt with and we're safely out of the rahklands-I will kill you, Hunter. And rid the world of your taint forever. I swear it."
Tarrant (whisper):"I never doubted that you'd try."
Yeah. It's just generally pretty cool. Tarrant...reminds me too much of myself. Of my dark side. I have a feeling, and Scott has said it as well, that if I was not a Christian, I would be very much like him. On one level he's coolness; on another, he chills you to the bone. And he's got a kick-butt sword. I love this series already, and I'm not even done with the first book.
This book made me wonder: What could push us over the edge? Tarrant was a good man long ago. As I see more and more of him, I wonder more and more what pushed him to do what he's done. I wonder if I could ever be pushed so far. I pray to God I never will be. Ever. I hope to instead embody the things that are the antithesis of what Tarrant is. Light. Life. Fire. These things are infact used to describe God as well. These are the things I aspire to hold within myself. I would rather live 10 years with them than a 1000 as Tarrant does. I still have a bit of a romantic within me. I have a feeling that soon, that Knight that defined me will return. My vision of life will become fuller. I hope he returns soon...

This week was long and short. I had 2 tests, 2 papers, 1 speech outline, and 1 computer program due this week. The program has been pushed off to next week. Everything else is done. I am so glad the weekend is here.
All I seem to live for these days are the weekends. I long for being able to just hang around with my friends and generally goof off with no worry of time.
These days just seeming to be blurring into shadow, with brief bursts of light. I am slowly starting to fight my way up, but it is so hard. The knight is finally starting to come back, but it isn't easy for him. Perhaps soon we will see him. I hope so as well.
All for now.

Gah!
It's just been one of those weeks. I had a lot of work to do. I got my horrid test grade from Data Structures back. I have just generally been having more of a struggle with school. I feel more and more like I am playing catch-up. And it's only the first semester of my sophomore year. Add to this playing phone and e-mail tag with Mr. Chris Zimmerman in IT about my getting a job, and...
I won't go in detail here about the crap that's gone on this year for our floor and G2 for Fall Fest. If you want juicy details, ask me. Maybe I will give them. Depends. But that whole kit-and-kaboodle hasn't made thing less stressful.
I just can't figure out how to deal with a lot of the stuff that has come up lately. I just don't know. I am not gonna go into detail, other than to say I have been doing a bit of wrestling with God to figure out which direction to go and such. I am still sorting stuff out.
Sometimes, I just get so tired...
Where has the part of me that was that noble knight gone? Where has Galahad gone? I no longer feel, at my core, like some noble being. I feel...stretched. Thin. Ragged. More like a tired old man. Almost wraith-like. I want to go back to feeling like that knight. Even the Dark Knight is better than this. Where has it gone? Where? Can you tell me...?

THIS TIME.
Disclaimer: This is not free license to blame me for any and all happenings,events, etc. Such blame shall only be officially cast on an item-by-item, case-by-case system. I shall inform all who need or want to know when I am to blame for anything. At least, if I choose to. This announcement applies only to the direct subject. Thank you for listening to the Knight's Disciple Announcement System. End Disclaimer.
Some of you may have seen the event that just recently took place in SAGA, when several 41er's, dressed either in "armor" or "togas", escorted our floor's queen candidate, Kelly, in on a large, mostly wooden, "Trojan Horse." Hopefully, everyone who has been to SAGA today noticed the large banner advertising "Kelly of Troy."
It's my fault. I gave them the idea. See, the day we decided on a queen, at lunch, I was talking with another 41er, and mentioned my reading for World Lit through Film. I either had to read, or had to write on, Faust. He casually mentioned that he recalled an appearance by Helen of Troy in said work. Later that night, we first picked our queen, and then went on to the theme. We had trouble for a bit. Then this fellow mentioned to me how we had been discussing Faust earlier. After a couple minutes of mental fumbles, we recalled said appearance of Helen. And, well,...the rest is current events.
Sorry.
Really. I am.

So. I have not posted in over a week. I have been crazy-busy. It happens. Welcome to college.
I had...let's see. I have, in the past 2 weeks, had a Data Structures test, a program in the same class due, a test in Business Law, a test in Speech, another speech, and a homework due in Organizational Behavior. Oh, and two papers in World Lit, between the two weeks. Yeah. I got it all done though.
On to happier things. Friday was good. I had ice cream, hung out and talked, started parceling up the world, ate dinner, parceled some more, went to the Ice Cave, and had general merriment. Bible Study was pretty good; a bit of a slow start, but good and solid. The heat of death was uncool. In more ways than one. But still fun. And the long hours of conversation afterwards were good too.
Today/Yesterday (technically it's Sunday, but I have yet to sleep, so it is still basically Saturday) was great. Got up nice and late at 11, got around, ate, and D&D'ed for a good few hours. Then I ate supper, bummed around a bit, and went to the play.
"Dearly Departed" was quite amusing. The company I was with helped. The rowdy audience didn't.
That is where things stand now. All in all, a good weekend so far. Check back soon for more fun.